e3 - day 1
Well e3 day 1 has certainly brought about some orgasmic news. Nintendo finally talked about the Wii and Sony announced the price and date of their uber-expensive console. Microsoft, well there's Halo 3 and Gears of War to look forward to. Try not to cry box owners, it won't be so bad. (HAHAHAHA TOLD YOU SO) In any case- Nintendo's breaking news on the Wii has left gamers in awe. Watching the games being played isn't nearly enough to appreciate the true value of Wii. Oh, and if you haven't heard yet. Yes, Nintendo has renamed the Revolution to the Wii. (pronounced 'we') But please spare me the jokes, I have heard far too many. It's a sound. You can almost apply it to anything you say, so it isn't funny simply because making fun of the Wii's name implies you have no skill and are insecure about yourself and video game preferences. People fear change. Smart people embrace it. So for the Wii, we have officially heard SUPER MARIO BROS. GALAXY is set for launch date in November along with LEGEND OF ZELDA: TWILIGHT PRINCESS. Mario looks amazing. It is clearly a huge step up and runs more like the n64 version, not the aquapack vaccuum cleaner water gun version. All of my favorite baddies are back as well, and I can't wait to hear more in the next week. Little was mentioned on Zelda as I am sure they are holding off until the end of the show this year to speak. What they did say, is that there will be two versions, one for gamecube, and one for Wii. The Wii version will clearly have a lot more content and intuitive gameplay, using the Wii controller and taking advantage of the system. Either buy is safe to say it is the best game you will ever play. Nintendo also has some sharp first person shooters and what looked to be a war game lined up for launch. Both games look amazing graphically and even more stunning with the use of the controller. Nintendo has something for everyone this upcoming year and will definitely be at an affordable cost so you should certainly go out and buy one. There is no exuse.
Before I touch on Sony, I would like to talk about Xbox which has been ejected from the competition for best new gen console unless they have some magic up their sleeves. Bill Gates himself is making appearances at e3 this year and it is his first one. The video for Halo 3 looked amazing I must say, so Halo fans, stick to your box since you are all sick and twisted anyway. For the rest of you who don't like Halo, there is Gears of War which is a classy sci fi FPS that will leave you in awe. If I had an Xbox, this would definitely be on my list. Then the last major hit of the day was a third person action game that plays similarly to Gauntlet Legends meets God of War. TOO HUMAN looks amazing. It is filled with combos and moves that are all upgradable and customizable depending on the game path you take. You can choose to add cyborg parts to yourself and become less human, which will in turn grant you new moves and combos, or you can stay as human as possible and upgrade your skills. The game will be online and will be identical to the offline version. Three games ago, Xbox had nothing. Oh wait, it still pretty much does.
Sony Playstation 3 is this years hot talk I suppose. Noone got too excited about Microsoft this year, and the fans were up in arms for the Wii. But I guess the majorly publicized system will be the PS3. The onslaught of games coming out for this system is incredible. You would think sony has a threshold limit for powerlaunching crappy games, but I stand corrected. At least, for the PS3, most of these games look stunningly amazing. I wish I was Bill Gates just so I could afford everything on the Expo floor. I really do want every PS3 and Wii game though. PS3 has sequals to just about everything under the sun annouced. Metal Gear Solid 4, Armored Core 4, Grand Theft Auto 4 (also for 360), and an onslaught of brand new games that are insane. I don't even want to list them all because I will be here all night talking about them, and you want a summed up version of the day, and not the four hours of television I just watched. (and taped and watched again) - Hah, sorry I have no life since I put mine aside to win assassins. But with that being on hold, (and what a perfect week to put it on hold) I can focus entirely on e3. Now, another major announcement for Sony was a brand new controller. That big boomerang you saw en route for the system has been bagged. This is excellent news for us good gamers because the thing probably weighed about as much as the damn 360 and forget being able to play it properly. For you people who suck at games and strive to be as cool as one such as myself (just give up and go home), the remodel sucks because when you get pissed for losing so much, you can throw it all you want across your shit hole of a room and it will probably come back to you. The new controller looks nearly identical to the PS2 controller with a few hidden surprises. One main feature (thanks for copying nintendo you losers, you suck at playing games so you just follow the clique and try to fit in) is that it has a tilt function. Tilting the controller is now part of your sony game experience. At least they are trying to get interactive.
In any case, the PS3 is set for launch on November 17th, 2006. And to answer the year long debate on its cost- there are two versions coming out. (Again copying, this time the 360) One version is the 20GB hard disk and the other is a 60GB hard disk. Now also just like the 360, if you get the 20Gig you will get screwed royally as it has wired controllers, no extra features, and much fewer ports and limited capability. THIS SUCKS so just go with the 60 GIG no matter how poor you really are. The 20 is going to be 500$ and the 60 will be, dah dahhhh, 600 dollars. (go figure) Sony always makes up for at least 80 percent of the production cost in everything they ever do. It is still a great system, so get it. I want ARMORED CORE 4. This game looks beautiful. The online play is amazing. Oh, and also sony will indeed have an online shop where you can dowload extra weapons, characters, levels, etc. Sony is making their online network free, so take that you money hungry microsoft employees. The Wii also features the same type of online experience (shop and multiplayer) for FREE. And once more, TAKE THAT YOU STUPID BOX LOVERS. With all the money your wasting, you could buy something cool. Start with a life and work your way to a Wii and PS3.
One last bit of info for the PC. There are some amazing games coming to the PC this year. They make everything else look queer. You NEED to check them out. I cant even tell you about them. You just have to see for yourself. So find the nearest URL and LOOK EM UP. Wow how amazing. One game I will touch on, is, and I feel dumb for forgetting the name- I think it was close to SEED or something since you will be a seed of a one celled orgamism. You get to build your own universe. Well not really build, but create and mold. You start out as a one celled organism and evolve and build your own customized creatures who can be designed in a multitude of ways. You can make them agressive or tactful. They can become smart and build cities and civilizations, and build space ships to explore the what seemed like never ending planets, each with their own uniquely created and designed land and seas. This is brought to you by the creator of the Sims, and his team of 69 others. I WANT THIS GAME SO BAD. PC gamers, get it! GET IT! The game picks up how you use your creatures, (so if their agressive a lot or keep doing a lot of the same actions) and uses them for their actions in the future. So it takes what you do, and tells the AI to do it. AMAZING. It is also online capable, and you can visit other worlds and see other people's creatures and who made it, importing them to your own or whatnot. You're creature can feed off of species, or plants, and when they become extinct, face food problems. I must say, that this is going to suck all of my time when it comes out. EXCELLENT game and excellend idea. Gamers of all kinds should check this game out.
FEATURE PLUS +
Ah hah, my review is almost over so keep reading noob. I would like to turn attention to two things in this section. ONE, during the commercial break, there was the funniest commercial on the planet. I will now procede to tell you about it so you know when you see it and will go "OH Thats the commercial jon was talking about. How cool. I want to be his friend thats how cool he is." There was a guy sleeping with his wife in bed, and he wakes up in the middle of the night to see a guinea pig sitting on his chest. "Oh, uhhh..... what are you doing there little guinea pig. " The guinea pig then goes " Thats not important. What is important is that you need to watch (some show on g4)." They guy says " oh, well why?" And they guinea pig is like " Well, david, would you like me to eat your other leg?" and the camera zooms out and his leg is missing and theres blood everywhere. HAHAHAHAHAHHAHA fucking funny. Excuse my friend but it was needed for effect. The other video is from e3, explaining the console wars. You see two asians in a random sandlot or alley. One has on his nametag Nintendo and the other Sony entertainment. Sony whips out the ps3 controller from his belt, hits a button and extends a blade. They are now staring eachother down. The nintendo guy whips out the Wii controller and hits a button and extends a lightsaber. They stare eachother down for a moment when this huge moron looking guy comes in with a stick with two xboxs, one on each end. And their covered in spikes. He looks all bad ass and tough and clearly has the other two beat with weaponry. Ninendo guy then whistles, and Link and Mario come running. (mario is bad ass looking with a hammer) Sony whistles and Solid snake and the guy from God of War come running. Then you see Mr big bad xbox whistle and the ground begins to quake as a large warship flies in. It drops off a Halo character and flies away. The Halo guy looks stupid and has like no weapons and is definitely not intimidating. THe xbox guy looks confused as the halo dudes like " what, no its just me- sorry. " Then they all fight. TAKE THAT XBOX NERDS YOU HAVE NOTHING. The past year of enduring threats from them on how much better they were than SONY and NINTENDO and i kept tellin em YOU HAVE NOTHING WAIT AND SEE. NOW I am proven right, so SUCK IT YOU DUMB GREEN BOX FANS> YOU SUCK. Ahh that felt good. I hope they cry. ACTUALLY- if you are an xbox owner, i hope you get hit by a drunk driver.... while you're at home watching tv one random day. TAKE THAT.
And alas, the day comes to an end. I suggest watching everything or asking me about it. But no day is complete without... THE BOOTH BABES. Honestly, I am not sure if to consider it nerdy or pornish to check them out. They are clearly a very good marketing tool. What better is there than a 90 percent naked hot as hell girl with a DS strapped to her? I dont know, if you find out, let me know. Probably a 90 percent naked hot as hell girl with a DS strapped to her with a sandwhich or slice of pizza and a box of condoms in my house... But seriously, they are just a parade of REALLY HOTT dumb blondes. I would probably faint and die if any one of them came near me, just because they are so hot you are sure to explode your pants like a car alarm goes off when a semi hits it. I did not know there were girls this hott on earth, someone please point me in the direction of the factory. Or at least their parents need to reproduce so there are more of them. DAMN. I'm not even a porn person, I stick to girls I know and never fantasize about hott girls on tv ive never met. But this time crossed my limits. If you get nothing else from what I'm saying, know this. BOOTH BABES!!!! Anyway enjoy the rest of my e3 coverage so I don't have to keep repeating myself to people. Til tomorrow, ciaO! G4 TV from 6pm - 9pm every day this week
Before I touch on Sony, I would like to talk about Xbox which has been ejected from the competition for best new gen console unless they have some magic up their sleeves. Bill Gates himself is making appearances at e3 this year and it is his first one. The video for Halo 3 looked amazing I must say, so Halo fans, stick to your box since you are all sick and twisted anyway. For the rest of you who don't like Halo, there is Gears of War which is a classy sci fi FPS that will leave you in awe. If I had an Xbox, this would definitely be on my list. Then the last major hit of the day was a third person action game that plays similarly to Gauntlet Legends meets God of War. TOO HUMAN looks amazing. It is filled with combos and moves that are all upgradable and customizable depending on the game path you take. You can choose to add cyborg parts to yourself and become less human, which will in turn grant you new moves and combos, or you can stay as human as possible and upgrade your skills. The game will be online and will be identical to the offline version. Three games ago, Xbox had nothing. Oh wait, it still pretty much does.
Sony Playstation 3 is this years hot talk I suppose. Noone got too excited about Microsoft this year, and the fans were up in arms for the Wii. But I guess the majorly publicized system will be the PS3. The onslaught of games coming out for this system is incredible. You would think sony has a threshold limit for powerlaunching crappy games, but I stand corrected. At least, for the PS3, most of these games look stunningly amazing. I wish I was Bill Gates just so I could afford everything on the Expo floor. I really do want every PS3 and Wii game though. PS3 has sequals to just about everything under the sun annouced. Metal Gear Solid 4, Armored Core 4, Grand Theft Auto 4 (also for 360), and an onslaught of brand new games that are insane. I don't even want to list them all because I will be here all night talking about them, and you want a summed up version of the day, and not the four hours of television I just watched. (and taped and watched again) - Hah, sorry I have no life since I put mine aside to win assassins. But with that being on hold, (and what a perfect week to put it on hold) I can focus entirely on e3. Now, another major announcement for Sony was a brand new controller. That big boomerang you saw en route for the system has been bagged. This is excellent news for us good gamers because the thing probably weighed about as much as the damn 360 and forget being able to play it properly. For you people who suck at games and strive to be as cool as one such as myself (just give up and go home), the remodel sucks because when you get pissed for losing so much, you can throw it all you want across your shit hole of a room and it will probably come back to you. The new controller looks nearly identical to the PS2 controller with a few hidden surprises. One main feature (thanks for copying nintendo you losers, you suck at playing games so you just follow the clique and try to fit in) is that it has a tilt function. Tilting the controller is now part of your sony game experience. At least they are trying to get interactive.
In any case, the PS3 is set for launch on November 17th, 2006. And to answer the year long debate on its cost- there are two versions coming out. (Again copying, this time the 360) One version is the 20GB hard disk and the other is a 60GB hard disk. Now also just like the 360, if you get the 20Gig you will get screwed royally as it has wired controllers, no extra features, and much fewer ports and limited capability. THIS SUCKS so just go with the 60 GIG no matter how poor you really are. The 20 is going to be 500$ and the 60 will be, dah dahhhh, 600 dollars. (go figure) Sony always makes up for at least 80 percent of the production cost in everything they ever do. It is still a great system, so get it. I want ARMORED CORE 4. This game looks beautiful. The online play is amazing. Oh, and also sony will indeed have an online shop where you can dowload extra weapons, characters, levels, etc. Sony is making their online network free, so take that you money hungry microsoft employees. The Wii also features the same type of online experience (shop and multiplayer) for FREE. And once more, TAKE THAT YOU STUPID BOX LOVERS. With all the money your wasting, you could buy something cool. Start with a life and work your way to a Wii and PS3.
One last bit of info for the PC. There are some amazing games coming to the PC this year. They make everything else look queer. You NEED to check them out. I cant even tell you about them. You just have to see for yourself. So find the nearest URL and LOOK EM UP. Wow how amazing. One game I will touch on, is, and I feel dumb for forgetting the name- I think it was close to SEED or something since you will be a seed of a one celled orgamism. You get to build your own universe. Well not really build, but create and mold. You start out as a one celled organism and evolve and build your own customized creatures who can be designed in a multitude of ways. You can make them agressive or tactful. They can become smart and build cities and civilizations, and build space ships to explore the what seemed like never ending planets, each with their own uniquely created and designed land and seas. This is brought to you by the creator of the Sims, and his team of 69 others. I WANT THIS GAME SO BAD. PC gamers, get it! GET IT! The game picks up how you use your creatures, (so if their agressive a lot or keep doing a lot of the same actions) and uses them for their actions in the future. So it takes what you do, and tells the AI to do it. AMAZING. It is also online capable, and you can visit other worlds and see other people's creatures and who made it, importing them to your own or whatnot. You're creature can feed off of species, or plants, and when they become extinct, face food problems. I must say, that this is going to suck all of my time when it comes out. EXCELLENT game and excellend idea. Gamers of all kinds should check this game out.
FEATURE PLUS +
Ah hah, my review is almost over so keep reading noob. I would like to turn attention to two things in this section. ONE, during the commercial break, there was the funniest commercial on the planet. I will now procede to tell you about it so you know when you see it and will go "OH Thats the commercial jon was talking about. How cool. I want to be his friend thats how cool he is." There was a guy sleeping with his wife in bed, and he wakes up in the middle of the night to see a guinea pig sitting on his chest. "Oh, uhhh..... what are you doing there little guinea pig. " The guinea pig then goes " Thats not important. What is important is that you need to watch (some show on g4)." They guy says " oh, well why?" And they guinea pig is like " Well, david, would you like me to eat your other leg?" and the camera zooms out and his leg is missing and theres blood everywhere. HAHAHAHAHAHHAHA fucking funny. Excuse my friend but it was needed for effect. The other video is from e3, explaining the console wars. You see two asians in a random sandlot or alley. One has on his nametag Nintendo and the other Sony entertainment. Sony whips out the ps3 controller from his belt, hits a button and extends a blade. They are now staring eachother down. The nintendo guy whips out the Wii controller and hits a button and extends a lightsaber. They stare eachother down for a moment when this huge moron looking guy comes in with a stick with two xboxs, one on each end. And their covered in spikes. He looks all bad ass and tough and clearly has the other two beat with weaponry. Ninendo guy then whistles, and Link and Mario come running. (mario is bad ass looking with a hammer) Sony whistles and Solid snake and the guy from God of War come running. Then you see Mr big bad xbox whistle and the ground begins to quake as a large warship flies in. It drops off a Halo character and flies away. The Halo guy looks stupid and has like no weapons and is definitely not intimidating. THe xbox guy looks confused as the halo dudes like " what, no its just me- sorry. " Then they all fight. TAKE THAT XBOX NERDS YOU HAVE NOTHING. The past year of enduring threats from them on how much better they were than SONY and NINTENDO and i kept tellin em YOU HAVE NOTHING WAIT AND SEE. NOW I am proven right, so SUCK IT YOU DUMB GREEN BOX FANS> YOU SUCK. Ahh that felt good. I hope they cry. ACTUALLY- if you are an xbox owner, i hope you get hit by a drunk driver.... while you're at home watching tv one random day. TAKE THAT.
And alas, the day comes to an end. I suggest watching everything or asking me about it. But no day is complete without... THE BOOTH BABES. Honestly, I am not sure if to consider it nerdy or pornish to check them out. They are clearly a very good marketing tool. What better is there than a 90 percent naked hot as hell girl with a DS strapped to her? I dont know, if you find out, let me know. Probably a 90 percent naked hot as hell girl with a DS strapped to her with a sandwhich or slice of pizza and a box of condoms in my house... But seriously, they are just a parade of REALLY HOTT dumb blondes. I would probably faint and die if any one of them came near me, just because they are so hot you are sure to explode your pants like a car alarm goes off when a semi hits it. I did not know there were girls this hott on earth, someone please point me in the direction of the factory. Or at least their parents need to reproduce so there are more of them. DAMN. I'm not even a porn person, I stick to girls I know and never fantasize about hott girls on tv ive never met. But this time crossed my limits. If you get nothing else from what I'm saying, know this. BOOTH BABES!!!! Anyway enjoy the rest of my e3 coverage so I don't have to keep repeating myself to people. Til tomorrow, ciaO! G4 TV from 6pm - 9pm every day this week
posted by KnightMearh at 7:03 PM
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